


Secret

by noero



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood, Canon Compliant, Chains, Introspection, M/M, Payback, Screwy Power-Dynamics, What am I doing, Whipping, non-sexual ereri, slightly creepy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-09 07:06:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1973478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noero/pseuds/noero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is fair.  This was their secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret

**Author's Note:**

> From this prompt - http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/13546.html?thread=8407274
> 
> My intention was to write this as a gen. fic, but it's such an oddly intimate scenario that I feel there are some pretty strong ereri undertones. 
> 
> Or maybe it's just my personal bias showing through...

It was not even a full week since Eren arrived at the castle with the rest of Levi's squad - _his squad_ \- and they were strangers. They were distrustful, quiet, and distant, always with suspicious eyes. Eren found it strange and unnatural. He missed his friends. He missed trust and companionship.

In all his life, he'd never needed it more. 

On the evening of the fourth day, they were locked in a silent and somber dinner with all eyes glued to Eren as usual. He sat still and quiet as he pushed the tasteless steamed vegetables around his plate, trying to remember the warmth of the training hall. Levi's squad didn't talk much when Eren was around. He'd learned to silence a room by turning a corner. It was the grating scrape of Captain Levi's chair that roused his attention. 

He froze when Levi asked him to follow. 

He chanced a nervous glance at the squad for some explanation - anything - to quell the coil of discomfort in his belly. Their eyes turned downcast and Eren stiffened in his chair, heart pounding with a sense of dread. Levi's was already leaving the room when Petra finally nudged Eren's shoulder, softly murmuring "You should do as he tells you," before returning to her plate. 

Eren decided not to risk Levi's ire despite the queasiness mounting inside him. He scrambled up from the table and ran down the stairs to catch his Captain -- who moves too fast for someone with such a small stride -- Eren's boots pattering against the cobblestone in tune with his wild heart. 

He studied Levi's back all the way down the winding staircase, neither saying a word, Eren entranced by the shimmering light of the torch in Levi's hand. He carried something else that Eren could not see in the dim and flickering light. He did not look back. Eren did not ask the questions that burned his throat, struggling to hold his tongue. 

It was the first time they were alone. Eren's mind concocted a hundred ways he must have upset him, a hundred reasons for punishment. 

He should have spent more time cleaning the bathroom. He should have tried harder at training. He should not have been so disappointing. 

Levi still did not speak. Eren continued down the cracked stone steps and into the basement, his chest tightening the whole way down. He watched as Levi hung the lit torch on the wall before marching into Eren's cell and straight to the chains mounted against the far wall. 

Eren stopped in the doorway and his body went rigid. Petra had never locked him in the room, not even once. 

His panic grew, ready to spring forth from his skin. That was it. That was why Levi chose to walk him down himself that night. 

His mind reeled. His wrists were long since healed from his days in the Military Police prison but he once again feels the chafing metal against his skin and the steady pull of the muscles in his arms. It reminded him he was still a prisoner. Only Captain Levi was now his captor. 

He turned to look at Eren, sharp expression cutting through the darkness. "Get in here and shut the door." 

Eren bit his lip, voice lost in his chest and tears stinging the corners of his eyes. The heaviness of the moment weighed on his shoulders and he questioned himself. He wondered why he wanted this, why he ever dreamed of joining the Legion. He wasn't sure he wanted it anymore. But. 

He made his choice. Levi's voice never left room for argument. Eren turned to pull the door shut, unable to look back to Levi's eyes. He could not look. 

The door latched shut with finality, locking them in silence. Eren remained rooted in place, staring at his hand on the door handle for too long. When he turned back around, Levi is standing there. He shoved something in Eren's direction and Eren flinched before he realized Levi was only trying to hand it to him. Levi physically places the item in his hand, wrapping Eren's fingers around it before he understood what was happening. 

Eren looked down. He was holding a whip. 

"Sir...?" he questioned, uselessly. HIs eyes shift back to Levi's hard gaze. 

"I don't want us to have a problem." Levi replied. 

Eren gaped as Levi removed his jacket and began to unclasp the straps of his harness. "As I was not blessed with your mutant healing powers - and I highly doubt you know enough about basic anatomy to understand how to _not_ render me an invalid - you can use that. Go as far as you need to. Until we're even." 

Eren scrunched up his brow, his mouth trying to form words he was unable to find. "S-sir, are you suggesting I...? Sir -- I can't do that!" 

Levi glared at him, removing his cravat. "What? All that gusto and you're just chickenshit now?" his voice cut the air like a knife. He turned away to unbutton his shirt, continuing "We can't work together if you're scared of me and our mission depends on our working together. Get it together, kid. This is your first order." 

Eren looked down again and turned the leather handle in his palm, letting his thumb slide over the rough grooves in the braided material. He looked back at Levi, now shirtless, as he kneeled on the opposite side of the room. The wavering light playing tricks on Eren's eyes as it bounced off the dip in Levi's spine. Eren was unprepared. 

Levi turned his head over his shoulder to regard Eren with a cold look. He held up a wrist and clamped the chain down on himself. "Lock me up," he said blankly, fingers holding up the key. 

Eren swallowed. He didn't want to do it. He wasn't mad at Levi -- not really -- and it seemed so unnecessary and extreme. Eren knew Levi was acting on orders. He understood why it happened, why Levi had to do what he did that day in court. 

He did not know what purpose _this_ served. 

Still, he stepped forward on weak legs and knelt beside Levi, plucking the key from his hand. He was close enough to smell him. Grass, Leaves, and sweat. He locked the right wrist and the clank of the metal was a gunshot in the empty room. 

He grabbed Levi's left hand, the pads of his fingers brushing across Levi's pulse as he slid the metal over that wrist. He unwittingly glanced at Levi's face as he did so to see he was frowning, as always, his eyes dark and cold. But he was staring so intently -- the look so invasive -- that Eren turned his eyes away. He locked the shackle with no further contemplation. 

Once done, he backed up behind Levi, still nervous. It was strange seeing Levi on his knees against the wall, hands pulled high above his head. He looked so much smaller, almost fragile. 

"Are you sure about this?" Eren asked in a soft voice, "Sir." 

Levi turned his head over his shoulder and he did not look pleased. "I told you. This is an order. Now _do it_. I don't have all night."

Eren frowned. He idly wondered if Levi felt the way he does now when he was ordered to do the same at the trial. He decides not, as Levi appeared so methodical about everything he did. 

Eren needed to get over it. This is what he chose. 

With a heavy breath, Eren tightened his grip on the whip. He hesitated for a long moment, watching the shadows dancing along the stone grooves on the wall and the orange light glistening off the metal chains. 

He tensed up and raised his arm. He struck.

Even Eren knew it was weak. There was barely a mark left on Levi's pale skin. Eren was holding back.

"Is that really the best you’ve got?" Levi taunts, "Did you do nothing but sit on your ass during training? How are you going to be any use to us with that puny shit?"

Eren grit his teeth. He knew Levi is only goading him, but it was no less effective. He took another deep breath. He must get through it; Levi was his Captain. He was part of his squad. This was an order. Eren did not need to understand, but he did have to act. He needed to prove himself. 

Eren's next strike was hard. Levi visibly flinched and went silent The room only stayed quiet for a brief moment longer. Eren struck again. Harder. It broke Levi's skin and Eren heard the air leave his lungs. The sharp intake of breath made Eren pause one more time, but he recovered quicker. 

They were alone and he could do this. He could finish it.

Eren only began to hear the snap of the leather on the third go. He saw the blood start to trickle down Levi's back, deep red streams running along his porcelain skin from the largest gash sliced between his shoulder blades. 

It is strange, the level of detachment Eren suddenly felt as he watched the blood pooling at the base of Levi's spine. Eren didn't enjoy it - he doesn't think - but it is no longer so frightening. He no longer holds back. All his strength goes into the throw of his arm.

On the next strike, Levi cried out. Eren doesn't want to think about the fact that the sound is somehow satisfying. Exciting. _Thrilling_. 

His hands were sweating and the night chill was long gone with the firelight burning in the back of his mind. His mind began to wander and he wondered if the squads know what was going on down in the basement. He just as quickly dismissed the thought. Levi would have said something in front of all of them if that were true and he wouldn't have limited Eren to injure areas he can cover with clothing. 

This is their secret, something just between them.

Somehow, this made Eren even bolder.

He memorized the sound of Levi's screams, this man he once idolized. Adored. 

Eren kept count. 

He stopped at nineteen. It felt appropriate. Fair. In the back of his mind, Eren knew why.

When it was over, however, reality settled in fast. It weighed so heavily on his shoulders that he longed to collapse. That weight lingered around him like a dark cloud obscuring his gaze. Levi is struggled to catch his breath and the river of blood and sweat still flowed down his spine, glistening in the light along with each intake of breath. 

Knowing it was an order and knowing it was what Levi asked for, Eren still tasted guilt bitterly on his tongue. 

He walked forward on weak legs and gently placed the whip aside on the cold ground. He knelt back beside Levi, the ground rough stone beneath his knees. He unlocked the left wrist and then the right, each arm falling limp once free. Eren steadied him when he toppled over, making his hands slick with Levi's sweat. 

Levi muttered something that may have been _I'm fine_ but Eren ignored it. 

He looked to Levi's face again, braving his insecurity. For a moment, he was confused as to how there was blood smeared on around Levi's mouth. He then realized that Levi bit through his bottom lip. 

Eren told him to stay put before running to the corner of his room to grab the towels, blankets and basin of water he'd prepared for himself before dinner. By the door he barely caught the sounds of the squad's laughter carrying down the corridors from where they remained in the dining hall, oblivious. 

Eren guided Levi to his bed and sat him on the edge of the worn, bare mattress. He placed the water pail between them and knelt in front of Levi’s knees. He washed Levi’s face first, removing blood from the gash on his lip while his hands trembled. 

Levi no longer complained about Eren fussing over his wounds. He only watched Eren with the familiar gaze, something else unfamiliar shadowing his eyes. Eren shook for reasons he didn’t understand. 

He again caught Levi’s musky scent, tempered with his blood. Eren’s face burned as he moved behind Levi on the mattress to tend to his back. His muscles contracted under Eren’s touch, making his body grow hot. 

The gashes across Levi’s skin ran like angry trails on a map, dancing between the grooves of his shoulders and the corners of his ribs. Eren sucked in a breath, only then understanding the damage he caused. 

He still did not understand what this was meant to resolve. He hoped it would come with time.

They did not speak as Eren helped gather the discarded pieces of Levi’s uniform. They did not speak as Eren helped him pull his shirt back on, each button one by one. They did not speak about how close they stood to each other or how Eren’s hands still trembled. 

They paused when Levi was dressed, the silence growing heavier and heavier. The light almost died from the room, flickering remnants of the yellow flame making them shadows in the dark. Eren looked to Levi's face again, unsure what he wanted to see. 

He realized Levi was human. He was nothing Eren ever imagined but he was real. They were alike in so many ways and so different in others. But they were both human. They were both so alive. 

Eren’s chest ached. 

He did what Levi did not, perhaps never could. He was very quiet, his voice so unusually soft and tentative, whispering, "I'm sorry."

It happened so fast and the room was so dark that Eren was never certain he actually saw it. But for just a second, the corners of Levi's lips quirked upward in what Eren thought was a smile. 

Eren followed his first order. 

This was their secret.


End file.
